divorce rocks

You are currently browsing articles tagged divorce rocks.

Divorced, but not divorced

December 11, 2009 in December 2009 | 5 comments

So court went better than I expected it would today.  By better than expected, I mean that we reached a settlement and I am all but divorced.  Its far from a perfect settlement, but it is what is.  I will make the best of it and still feel like I’m coming out of it in a good place.  In the end, I don’t have to support the ex (that was a possibility, if you can imagine), my financial situation will be a bit tricky for a while but in the end, I may actually come out this in decent shape.  Ultimately, the money is NOT what’s important, in any way shape or form.  My happiness is what’s important.  And I know I have that.  I’m happier than I’ve been in a long, long time.  Ending my marriage was the best decision I ever made.  I’m so glad I did it.

As for the title, that was my attorney’s statement today.  We went through the whole divorce proceeding up to the judge actually declaring it so.  There was a last minute change to the settlement – something with not being able to get original signatures (the ex remains in Colorado, living with Mommy and Daddy, I might ad – I’ll leave you to judge) meant that the judge decided to hold off on issuing the decree until everything is signed.  It really is all but done.  So I’m divorced but not divorced.  I’m celebrating my not technically divorced state anyway – there’s cheap champagne and expensive tequila in my future.  It just means I can throw a real divorce party when the divorce decree comes through.  It’ll only be a matter of days.

And tomorrow, I’m going to do something that I have wanted to do for a very long time.  I’m going to the beach.  I’m putting my wedding band in the only proper place for it – the bottom of Long Island Sound.

Closure, at long last.

Tags:

My Name

June 21, 2009 in June 2009 | 3 comments

Thanks to all of you who have been so supportive, once again.  A bit of sage, a few tears and a lot of hugs are slowly making things better.  And if there’s one lesson I’ve learned in the last few years, I have the power to turn this around – and that’s just what I’m working on.

As for the title of my post, this week’s crap has made one difficult decision much easier – the question of whether or not to change back to my maiden name when D-Day finally comes (maybe as early as August, though who knows how long this might drag out).  I really toyed with this one until Thursday, when it hit my like a brick – I’m going back!  Huge pain in the ass as it might be to change my name on everything and to come to be known by the “new again” last name, I want NO association/reminders/connection with that family (ETA – I just re-read that and it hit me how sad it is – it not Everett that I don’t want a connection to, its truly the family).   It really became an easy decision to make, that I feel really good about.  So, as I often do, I thought I’d say here it first.  The name, at least until the divorce is finalized and I drop the “married” name, is Kris Granatek Gonzales.  Get why I didn’t go with hyphenating when I got married, even though I wanted to?  Its a mouthful.  For those of you looking cross eyed at my maiden name, just sound it out – gran-uh-tech.  Not so hard.  I’m going to start adding Granatek to everything over the next couple of weeks, in hopes to make that transition easier and avoid some confusion in the long run.

Now, onward – I have 8000 things to do before I leave for San Francisco in a few hours, not least of which is getting the Etsy shop back up and one very long over due blog post about Rhode Island.  Time to return this blog to a fiber blog!

Tags:

Break out the smudge stick…

June 19, 2009 in June 2009 | 9 comments

time to cleanse some negative energy from my home.

Everett moved to Colorado yesterday.  It all hasn’t set in enough to start celebrating quite yet, though this morning I am getting there.  This was quite sudden and unexpected as he was planning on going Saturday.  I won’t even go into how I found out he had actually moved, as he left everything here and I had no knowledge of his whereabouts for a long period of time.  The news was followed within minutes by a nasty call from his newly hired attorney, including a stern warning not to “destroy his personal belongings”.   Based on this, I suspect that things are going to get more complicated in some ways before they get better.   Right in this moment though, I am beginning to see some light – as of yesterday, I no longer have the burden of being forced into a caregiver role for someone else.  Everett is absolutely and without question his parents problem now.  Its about time.  The weight has been lifted and I know that I’m going to feel better in short order.

Now for the smudging – should I call his attorney and ask for permission to do a cleansing to remove the evil spirits from my house?  After all, I was told not to destroy Everett’s personal property and clearly these belong to him.  Legally, are evil spirits considered personal property?  Anyone?

Tags: